Thai Beef Soup for the Week

3 boxes (96 oz) Low Sodium Beef Broth
2 tbsp oil
1lb Sirloin Steak, fat trimmed off, sliced thin
4 garlic cloves, crushed NOT chopped
2 stalks celery , sliced diagonally into inch-long pieces
2 scallions or  half a red onion , thinly sliced
10 oz bag of frozen BROCCOLI STIR FRY veggies (I like Birds Eye Brand)
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons white vinegar (or rice vinegar)
1 tablespoon dried red pepper flakes (optional)
12 oz of Angel Hair pasta (organic if possible, less starchy)
 1 cup fresh bean sprouts
1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves , chopped
1/2 cup fresh onion chives, chopped
Chop sticks!!!! <-- it tastes sooo much better with chop sticks lol

Directions:
1. Before starting the soup..Boil noodles, drain and RINSE and set aside... let them get cold... its ok.
2. Using a large soup pot ...fry beef strips in oil until brown.
3. Remove the browned strips, leaving the oil and juice in the pot.
4. Add garlic, scallions and celery to oil and fry, stirring often.
5. Add 32oz of the beef broth to the pot, season with fish sauce, pepper, vinegar and cinnamon.
6. Bring soup to a calm boil, add Kale and frozen veggies... (kale takes about 7 mins to wilt... eyeball it... and stir occasionally)
7. Once Kale has wilted turn burner on simmer, toss the beef strips back in and cover until your ready for dinner.

How to Serve.
1. Get a soup bowl (cereal size bowl) and first add about 1/3 cup of cold noodles,  a hearty pinch of bean sprouts and ladle on the hot soup.
2. Garnish with chopped cilantro and chives.

 Great Dinner to make for a Sunday Night and have left overs for lunch or a quick dinner throughout the week.

You can add the noodles, cilantro and chives to the soup to store left overs. However keep bean sprouts out of the soup until your ready to eat, otherwise they lose their crunchy texture and they don't stay fresh very long.

Prep Time and Cook time Approx 20 mins
Serves 8-10 Large Servings

Thai Beef Soup

Entering Heaven @ 4am

I can't remember what I heard first, was it the crying, sniffling and familar voices saying "I'll miss you" or was it the bells jingling from a coffee store door.

I wasn't drinking coffee though... I found myself staring down at a pair of wrinkly hands holding a fine china cup of hot black tea. I know that was the first thing I saw.

I'm not sure how to describe it... but I felt confused, worried and anxious.

A young strong hand reached out from across the table and touched mine. I almost jumped out of my seat when I looked up and saw my husband, Michael, smiling at me. He looked different somehow, but just as handsome as ever. He leaned back to relax in his big comfy chair and asked "what do you think?"

I wasn't sure. I looked down at my wrinkled hands. "Are these my hands?" I thought. Sure enough the scar on my left thumb was there... and so was that pale little freckle I have on the inside of palm on my wedding finger.

I suddenly became terrified. I started worrying... "where is my son Jamie?"... "If Mike is here then who is watching him?"... I started worrying about my family and friends, my health, where I was. I started worrying about everything... even housework and my leaving the stove on. It was overwhelming.

Before I could ask a my husband a single question I large group of old Irish men came strolling in. Michael perked up in his seat and waved them over. They were so loud... laughing, joking and carrying on like a group of teenagers. While I sat there, still trying to figure out how my hands had managed to warp into my grandmothers, Michael was carrying on and laughing with the old men. I looked up and waited for Michael to introduce me to his friends, but he didn't... so unlike him.
 
As I waited for an opportunity to introduce myself I began to notice that it seemed to appear as if no one could see me. It was about this time that I realized I couldn't see color, nor could I focus on anything more than about 7 feet away.

Then I caught the eyes of one of the old men. He was keeping his distance, but he was shyly smiling at me... he was trying to pretend he couldn't see me, but I swear he could. He looked familar, but I couldn't place him... he was tall and broad, his round hazel eyes were poking out through his thick old Irish-man eyebrows. I couldn't place him and it was driving me nuts. Just has I became to feel overwhelmed by curiousity to know this man's name, the old men took turns giving Michael a big hug and waundered off. "Michael doesn't hug many people," I thought. "strange."

Michael could tell I was frustrated. " I bet you have a lot of questions" he asked. I nodded, however when I went to speak nothing would come out. He seemed to anticipate this and reached for my hand again, "when your ready, love". I nodded.

We sat there for a while before Michael stood up and handed me a coat. As we exited the shoppe I slowly began to make out the color of autumn leaves on the gravel path and the more I looked around, more came into focus. Finally I could see where we were going. There was a large wooden cabin-like home up a head, warm amber light pouring out of every window.

Michael opened the door for me and before I entered he leaned in and whispered, "take a deep breath."

The moment I crossed the threshold a great gust of wind came up from behind me and was pressing all the air inside me out and began to push me. I saw flashes of my wedding, the day my son was born, my mother pressing a cool clothe on my fevered head, Christmas parties (that I don't remember having happened), riding my bike with my father, family portraits, faces, kisses, hugs, dancing in the rain, bonfires with friends, laughing, smiling... everything that ever brought me comfort and joy flashed before me. Then it all faded away.

I could hear versions of myself talking, one voice, then 2, then what sounded like a thousand. I heard myself apologizing for being selfish, for the times I didn't stand up when I should have, taking blessings and people for granted, for not doing as much as I should, for walking away, for being passive and afraid... I heard all my failures, shame and guilt pouring out of me. Things that I had forgot, secrets I had locked up and carried with me through life.

And then it all became clear. I knew I had died. I knew my judgement day had come.

Hearing myself confess, remembering every pain I had caused, rehashing all my failures. I felt small, fragile and worthless.I would say I heard a voice calling out to me, but it was more like I felt, the voice asking me if I wanted to be forgiven.... the guilt of my short comings and failures overwhelmed me. The voice asked again.  Without hesitation I whimpered "yes".

Then I felt God. I felt a joy that overwhelmed me so much so that I cried... no, not cried sobbed. 

A gust of wind blew through me again, this time it didn't push me... it carried me... I literally felt as light as a feather. As I drifted the sorrow faded and the joy returned, I could feel it growing. I glided along and landed inside the wood cabin.

This time I could see everything! I could see smiles from across the room, the color on people's faces and when my smiling husband approached me I could say "I love you." We laughed and carried on about what we thought of heaven, made jokes about the lack of puffy clouds and people with wings.

Strangers in the house approached me one by one. "I'm your great grandfather, I would have loved to have met you Katherine.".... "I'm your great great great great great grandmother, you have my hair, no doubt!"

Suddenly, I saw the group of old Irish men from the coffee house walking towards me. I was so excited to know who they were, especially the old man with the famliar smile. The men came in close with hugs, landing kisses on my check left and right... while there was plenty of laughter no one spoke. Then the old Irish man with the bushy eyebrows and hazel eyes, leaned in and gave me a big long hug, "I'm so happy to see you mom."

I stood there shocked! "I'm sorry, what?"

I looked him in the eyes, it was my son Jamie. I turned to Mike, hysterical...tears in my eyes. "NO NO NO".... "he shouldn't be here yet!"..."did I bury my son and forget?!"

Jamie grabbed me with hands so wrinkled and worn they made my prune hands look young. He smiled and then let out a big rumbling laugh, like his father does, and shook his head at me.

"Mom, I'm fine. I lived to be an old, old man...much longer than I should of actually... I'm here with you always, I have been here always and so has everyone else you see here."

"Then how are you here!"

"You are in heaven now Mom, time is a human limitation... you are in God's heaven, that limitation does not exist here."

Before I could stop the water works, Jamie turned and introduced me to two other old men in the group and explained that these were my sons as well. Then pointed to five other old men in the group and explained there were my grandsons, then he introduced me to my GREAT GREAT GRAND SONS. I couldn't believe it! It was amazing.

I woke up at 4:32am trembling with my face in a wet, tear soaked pillow. I wasn't sure where I was now until I saw Michael there sleeping next to me. Snoring away.

That morning I was terrified when I woke up. I don't know anyone that likes dreaming about when they die, espeically when they are young and have a 12 month old at home. But after a couple days of rehashing this dream through my memory, I began to find comfort, not in the thought of death so much, but in the afterlife.

Normally my attitude on the afterlife is "Guess, I'll have to wait and see." But I woke up convinced that I saw it.

Of course, I realize it was just a dream... I dream of Transformer Robots trying to attack me while I fold laundry in a women's bathroom of a skyscraper in New York City in the year 2260...(thats a dream for another day). But as me and my family discuss trips to visit my 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital and what the near future holds for him and his health, I suppose my subconscious as been working over time on the "afterlife".

I've heard people express their concern before "how could I enjoy heaven without my children, spouse or family there with me?" And I heard it discussed that God is  not restricted to "our understanding of time".  But I thought it was interesting how the two intersected in my dream last week. 

I suppose I have mixed feelings about losing my grandfather. Sure he is old, anyone would feel lucky to have lived to 85, raise their family, play with grandchild, meet GREAT grand children, I hope I get to be as lucky... but sometimes I feel like he's afraid to leave us. He's a fighter and he is fighting hard.

I wish there was more we could do to comfort him. I wish I could let him know it's going to be okay. That he won't be in pain and, according to this dream, he will be far from alone.

Please keep him in your prayers.