Life 101 - A refresher course

Jamie & I playing around.

hile I stay home on weekdays with Jamie... some weekends Michael and I switch. He stays home with our son and I pick up a couple shifts back at my old job at a meat market.

Originally I went back to work in August as to stash away some extra cash for the upcoming holidays and to spend sometime out of the house...but I discovered that working part time out of the house has done quite a bit for my husband and I.

 Going back to work was not a decision I took lightly. Michael is the oldest of eight and when we came home for the hospital with our son, he knew more about baby care then I did. He is wonderful with our son. But if you have a child, you know... leaving them, even with your spouse can be stressful, at first.

Secondly, this was the job I had worked while in college. It was a fun job, I worked with fun people and enjoyed the diversity of simple activities there was to do... but like any simple, redundant job kids do during their summers away from school... its all fun and games and then you think to yourself at the end of a 50 hour work week on your feet..."I HAVE TO finish college, I couldn't stand to do this EVERYDAY forEVER!" Not to mention "how will I ever survive on this pay?!".

Yes, working throughout college had a much stronger "intrinsic" value to me.

Thirdly, and this was the big one.... I have finished college.... as I like to say, I have finished college twice. After earning a Bachelors Degree and then a Masters and having worked in my career field... then to have a baby and go back to my college summer job was at first... VERY humbling.

While a majority of the customers I serve at work are friendly, personable or civil... I, like anyone in the field of customer service, meet a batch of "rotten-egg" customers. Personally, I don't mind the customers who aren't chatting or don't smile... its this other brand of people I have discovered. The "elitist".

There have only been a few and many "seem" to have "good" intentions....but when I encounter one, its a little life reminder for me; to not take myself so seriously, to remember how unattractive it to be so full of pride, narcissistic and judgmental towards others. And to remember to not catalog people so easily.

While these few customers are difficult to listen to...recently, I have come to enjoy them in my own strange way. I find a sense of humor in watching a man's face morph from pompous to shame when he stands at the counter lecturing me on how a woman like me "should be in school, improving and educating herself", reminding me to "get married before I 'bake one in my oven'", "to use condoms to avoid mistakes" and "to travel the world, not just get married and get tied down all to quick".

The transition a man's face makes between pompous to confusion to shame is remarkable to witness.

And it happens as I say (ever so politely and without a hint of sarcasm) that I have been married for 2 years and I have a 8 month old son, I have visited over 20 countries and when I find I doctorate program I like perhaps I will consider furthering my education and that I don't believe any child is  a mistake.... (insert smile)... "Have a great weekend, sir!".

After a long day ... sometimes the house comes last. lol

Working part time has also provided me with with another perspective, to truly appreciate how hard my husband works for our family. If you are a stay at home mom you can relate to feeling of "nothing is ever done"; the dishes, the laundry, paying the bills, making bottles, the feedings, the burp-ings, the cleaning, the budgeting..... it can feel like its never-ending... because it is never ending!

I enjoy clocking out at work, leaving a clean store, everything I needed to get done today... accomplished!

But coming home after a long day to a husband has been in the house all day with a laundry basket full of clothes he never got the chance to fold, a baby in the high chair to distracted to eat his dinner and floor covered in "baby puff snacks" can be a little overwhelming at times. Instead of it causing arguments and annoyances, surprisingly, it has helped Michael and I respect each other's roles by providing us with the other person's perspective.

When the baby is finally asleep and the house is straightened up we sit on the porch and talk about our day.Michael, who works the weekdays, usually is bummed he missed out on baby time...but on weekend nights he is excited the baby is asleep peacefully in his crib and apologizes he forgot to cook dinner. Since I stay home with Jamie full time usually my porch conversation is a relay of Jamie's day and how I wish the baby had been a better mood so I could have gotten my shopping done and finished the laundry but instead I apologize that I'm home later than I thought I would be and vent about weird customers.

My little mess making machine!

Of course, we miss having all our weekends together to spend as a family, but for now I feel as if we are killing two birds with one stone. It was difficult for me to walk away from teaching to stay home full time. I liked teaching, but I knew I would feel regret later if I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to stay home, raise our son, get us settled in our new home. I also knew that while I had such a young child at home I would not be able to be the teacher, the wife, the mother, the friend or the person I wanted to be if I attempted to do it all.

I believe women can do it all. Millions of women around the world prove this everyday! But I don't believe women should feel forced to do it all. If my family needed to me to go back to work full time, I would. But while this opportunity for me to stay home exists I want to try to take advantage of it. And more importantly I want to appreciate it and enjoy it.

I never would have imagined that working 10-18hrs on a weekend would provide so much insight for me.

It seems as if the idea of women staying home to raise their children is a thing of the past, something I thought I would be able to do without any hesitation or resistance but it is work!!! Work that doesn't pay bills, there is no manager to ask for direct instructions for a difficult task, there is no number to call in to as to request the day off or to report that you will running late, work that NEVER ends, work that there are no sick days or vacation days and work that no one is around you all day to see that you are accomplishing everything that you are. It is truly a job that you as the parent have to believe is best for your family. And it is MUCH easier said then done.

GTG, baby is up!